Hosting Your Own Retreat

 My sister Kate is a master organizer and planner, so here she is with our final retreat installment to share a few of the ins and outs of our annual getaway, and how to host one yourself.  Here we go!

When I talk with my friends about Sister’s Retreat, they always want to come. But when I suggest that they start their own tradition, they tend to shy away. Why? Here are the usual obstacles, as well as road maps around them.

I don’t have sisters. A good friend of mine, an only child, has carved out a biannual (that means twice a year, right?) Girl’s Weekend with four friends. Our oldest sister, Noel, has been attending the same Scrapbook Retreat with the same core of friends for fifteen years. If you don’t have “that kind of friends,” do yourself a favor and go make some. Today.

I don’t like my sisters. We get that. We do. Our first few retreats were a little rocky. One tradition that helped us change directions was taking turns saying our favorite traits of one another. Another event that helped was Noel saying, “I’m not the same person I was when we last lived together. I’m no longer the mom.” That helped the rest of us to re-see her, to enjoy who she is now. Building up fun memories and following those up with frequent phone calls between retreats helps us to be current, to keep from slipping back into inaccurate stereotypes about one another.

Breakfast at Charity's, 2003

It’s too expensive. Not necessarily. If the hostess can kick her family out (to go stay with grandparents, an uncle, friends), you have lodging. When everyone contributes a dish or two, food isn’t a big financial burden. You can always paint each others’ toenails instead of springing for pedis. And talk is, after all, cheap.

My husband would never go for it/ I don’t have anyone to watch the kids. Then you are married to a poop. Our husbands were not crazy about the idea, initially, either. Who would cook? Who would clean? Who would entertain the kids? Gradually, though, they learned that they could get away with Arctic Circle every night we were gone. They could have tickle wars without a referee saying, “Isn’t that a little rough, honey?” They benefited from their wife’s well-fed souls upon return. For those with uncooperative exes, our hearts go out. To you we say, you need a support network anyway. If you have one, they are happy to help. Grandparents, brothers, friends, out-laws (your ex’s family), even a trusted college student, can be recruited. These people love you, and are uplifted by your happiness. Give them an opportunity to serve you.

I’m just not creative. Creativity is not the gold standard of Sister’s Retreats. Go to the movies together. Do the standbys. If you long for an out-of-the-box experience, brainstorm with your eccentric friends. Do some online research. But remember that the activities should be restorative to you and your sisters – no one else’s ideas will fit you better than your own. Just pay attention to what you desire, and then make THAT happen.

In the end, it usually doesn’t come as an invitation to a ready-made event. It is the product of pulling out the planner, making phone calls, and just doing it.

Sister's Retreat Recipes

Here's installment #3 of 4 (feel free to skip the next one if you've had enough with the retreats).  So I'll let Kate, a gal who spends a lot of time in an apron, share a few favorite recipes.

Usually we are all about finger food – spinach focaccia, seven-layer dip, salt ‘n vinegar potato chips, chocolate. That hits all the major food groups, right? But last year, inspired by her Scrapbook Retreat’s system, Noel suggested we each cook one meal for everyone. What a brainchild! We all pitched in to help, of course, singing and chopping and cleaning together in the kitchen. We ate like queens. You can too.

Panini

Tricks for a Perfect Panini:

• Start with dense bread
• Use unusual combinations: mayo and pesto with four cheeses, pears and nutella, asparagus with turkey
• Pile on the caramelized onions
• Coat your bread with olive oil instead of butter
• Press the Panini flat with a spatula (or a brick wrapped in tinfoil)
• Cut them on an angle so you always have a point to dip
• Trader Joe’s makes the best marinara sauce for dipping
• Make a ton; Panini leftovers rock!

Bistro Tortellini

Saute carrots, mushrooms, and hearts of palm until tender. Toast almonds and pine nuts. Boil package of frozen cheese tortellini until done. Pour cream sauce (1/2 stick butter, 1 c Parmesan, 1 c cream, melted together) over vegetables and tortellini. Also good with sausage.

Mock Mint Julep

Combine 2 c cold water, 1 ½ c sugar, ¾ c lemon juice and 6 mint sprigs. Let stand for at least 45 minutes. Discard the mint. Place 5 c ice cubes and 2 ½ c ginger ale into 2 small pitchers or 1 very large pitcher. Add lemon mixture and serve.

Dinner at Noel's 2011

(Hey, girls, if you have any recipes to add, send them my way and I'll update).

Sister's Retreat: Highlights

The next in Kate's series on retreats.

Kate & Charity 2010

Our Sister’s Retreats are punctuated with little surprises for one another. One year we were staying in a cabin (read: castle) of Noel’s friend when we heard a knock at the door. Curious, we answered, to find five Mayday baskets hanging on the doorknob! Charity had sneaked out and planted them, then acted innocent as we oohed and aahed over our treasures. Another year, we were presented with spa kits of hair and body products Lain had won in a design contest. A favorite keepsake: we had a professional portrait taken, and sent a copy to our dad for Father’s Day (needless to say, these pictures have a prominent place in each of our homes). We each have a matching red velvet notebook in which we keep discoveries and quotable quotes from the retreats – these were also a gift.

It’s not all luxury and pampering; we also believe in growth. Most years we try to have a book club discussion on the book I provided the previous year. One time I gave a little communication workshop based on one I’d attended and loved. Dani, of course, encourages everyone to bring current pictures of their homes so she can help overcome design problem areas. Lain gives hair cuts or makeovers. Charity leads early risers in yoga routines and teaches us about homeopathy and healthy food. Noel is our parenting guru, bringing wisdom and perspective that elevate our understanding. She’s also our cheerleader, quietly approving, believing in us until we gain confidence in our own abilities.

And then there are the anti-highlights: getting kicked out of our hotel room for giggling too loud, too late. Being at a restaurant, seeing the actor from the play we’d seen the night before, loudly repeating his best line in front of the other diners, then realizing it wasn’t him. Four hour phone calls to fix a son’s abscessed tooth on a Saturday from 500 miles away. Hurt feelings. Crying. Wild mistakes in yard sale buys (turn-of-the-century corset, anyone? Non-working lamp of W.C. Fields? A carousel horse, even though traveling by train?).  No matter. No matter. We are together.

A Trip to Visit My Sisters

All year I look forward to our annual Sister's Retreat...and last weekend it finally rolled around again.  In the spirit of sisterhood, I've asked my sis Kate to explain our annual get together and why it's so special to us, why it's always a hit, and why someone usually ends up crying (and how that's usually a good thing...)  Thanks Kate!

The five Moore girls, as we were known for years, span 17 years and, at one time, the entire continent (I lived in Atlanta, another sister in Sacramento). We’re newlyweds, divorcees, working moms and stay-at-homers. And still, despite the frantic mental arithmetic of time zones, these are the first people I call when delight or disappointment strikes. When people ask how five far-flung sisters are so tight-knit, my answer is invariably this: The Sister’s Retreat.

(Lain, Charity, me, Kate and Noel in 1986)

Every year we get together, no matter how tight our budgets or how busy our lives are. (The one exception was when we went in together to buy our parents a trip to Alaska as a retirement / 40th anniversary present. Sacrificing Sister’s Retreat was hard, but worth it.)

 (Kate, Noel, me, Lain and Charity at the retreat last year)

Each time we gather, it is in a different sister’s city. We shop or yard sale, depending on the season. We eat copious amounts of food, some homemade (recipes to follow another day!) and some on the town. We put on fashion shows with clothes we’ve brought to swap. We get pedicures or attend plays. Always, always, we talk.

 

We share our secrets for keeping sane or for keeping on top of laundry. We reminisce about our childhood. Sometimes we confront each other, which leads to both tears and greater closeness. Sometimes we confront ourselves, which leads to both tears and greater clarity. Above all, we redefine ourselves to one another and rediscover the joy in our relationships. 

A Good Cleaning

After a trip to the thrift store, everything needs a good scrub down. Here are a few tips and favorite products that make things easier.  (By the way, this isn't a sponsored post--just good, old fashioned loyalty to great products I want all my girlfriends to know about).

Some things are easy and I just wipe them down with a gentle cleaner (my favorite is Mrs. Meyers Clean Day because it smells like basil) or soapy water.  Dirty or germy things get a trip through the dishwasher (have you heard about Lemi Shine? It's the missing ingredient in dishwasher soap that makes glass sparkle!), washing machine, or at the very least a Clorox wipe or bucket of bleach water.  A note on silver--I use my grandmother's silver spoons on a daily basis and even throw them in the dishwasher.  I never polish them (and you don't have to either).

I run the clothes, fabric or stuffed animals through the washing machine on as hot as possible.  Stuffed animals get thrown in a pillowcase, which keeps their fur from rubbing off on the sides of the washing machine.  If you're trying to freshen up a piece of upholstered furniture, vacuum it and use Febreeze or vinegar water.  This may do the trick, but for some pieces, it's just not enough.  That's when I bite the bullet and pay for a professional to clean it (I have someone I really like who specializes in vintage upholstery--it's worth asking around).  My sis, Kate, swears by Nature's Miracle, which you can buy at pet stores.  Just that info alone tells you to put it on anything that smells gross, and it'll freshen it.

For musty items that aren't easily cleaned, like old suitcases, dresser drawers and books, I like to put a few pieces of charcoal inside.    Other options are baking soda and kitty litter, but I've found the charcoal to work best for me.  Be sure to buy the kind without lighter fluid.  Books can use the charcoal treatment and Clorox wipes are great for board books, but just forget about anything with mildew.  It will eventually eat through and eat away at the books around it.

One product I use all the time is Goo Gone.  It's great for removing the whole price sticker and not just the paper.  It's cheap too--you can get it at the dollar store.  Another product to pick up while you're there is the little green scrubbies in the kitchen area.  I cut them in pieces so I can just use one and toss it.

What did I miss?  Please share!

Friends and Finds

 While at Alt, I got to know a whole new set of ladies when we went on a thrift store tour.  They are extremely creative and talented women and we became instant friends. 

We spent the afternoon shopping some of Salt Lake's best thrift/vintage stores, including Abode and Decades (oldies but goodies) and eating an amazing lunch at Les Madeleines, (new to me).  I love food that is intended to be sweet, but twisted to be savory.  I fell in love with the lavender lemonade and rosemary shortbread cookies.  I'm putting those on my summer recipe list.

My best and favorite finds:

A pair of vintage curtains for $2.  I picked them up and put them back.  Then I tried to get the girls from Modern Kiddos to buy them.  They said no, so I put them back.  I walked away, then I walked back.  The end of that story is obvious, but the next chapter is yet to be determined--what am I going to do with them?  Any ideas?  I cannot (meaning I'm not capable of) walk by amazing vintage fabric without buying, or at least touching it.  There, I said it.

A black pitcher (also $2) to add to my white pottery collection.  I do have a few other black sheep in the mix, but I usually gravitate to white.  I adore how the clean lines pop against any backdrop.  Right now they're lined up on my kitchen windowsill.

Finally, a metal box to hold doodads in the little-little's room.  I love the way strong materials (like metal, rich fabrics or great wood) look in a kids room next to their plastic toys.  I think it's pretty.  Thrift stores and garage sales are excellent places to buy metal baskets or boxes.  They're the same ones sold in the vintage shops, only cost a lot less.  I don't usually know what I'm going to do with them when I get them, but they have great functionality and work in any space (any room, most styles) and work their way through my home happily.

Interested in what the other ladies (with fabulous taste) found?  Check out their finds here, here and here. 

A Trip to Altitude Design Summit

A few weeks ago, I took the opportunity to attend an amazing lifestyle and design blogging conference held in Salt Lake.  I learned about Alt the week after it was held last year and was so bummed that I had missed it.  I read about it on somebody’s blog and I knew it was just what I was looking for, so when January rolled around again, I was prepared.  If you want to be a newbie to Alt next year too, I highly recommend it.  Here’s what you’ll want to know:

Most people who attended are talented and successful bloggers, stylists, artists and designers (but they still like you if you’re new to the blog world, like me!).  They are inspirational, creative and on fire about what they do.  You’ll find time to mingle with other like-minded people, listen to panels on blog etiquette and expectations, take classes on things like photography or hand-lettering, network, and in my case, learn the ins and outs of blogging.  The panelists and presenters all have lots of experience and are there both to present and attend (this speaks to the quality of every single class).  I was surprised at how generous and helpful everyone was with their ideas and experience.

Bring business cards and lots of them.  Alt was a beautiful mix of creativity and business.  It’s an excellent place to network and meet other bloggers.

If you want to monetize your blog, this is the place to be.  I was incredibly surprised by what an industry the monetization of blogging is.  I met product designers, store owners, sponsors looking for bloggers to advertise for them and even magazine and tv show reps. 

Wendy, Katie and I

Don’t be afraid to come alone—you’ll leave with friends.  

This is the place to wear those swanky clothes.  Every evening held dinners and parties, clearly planned by women-- they were playful and beautiful and girly and very fun.

What Alt is not:  Cheap (start saving now, because it’s pricey.  But worth every penny.)  If you are looking for a personal/family blogging conference, this is not it—content is heavy on monetization and success in terms of readers and page views.

We capped off the conference with a thrifting tour of some of Salt Lakes best thrift/vintage stores.  More on that tomorrow.